Over the past few years, I have begun to understand that happiness is not a destination. There will be no point in my life when I look around and say, “Yes, all is in order, perfection is achieved,” and commence to live “happily-ever-after” as it were. I have also learned that happiness that is dependent on outside circumstances is a frail, fragile, and temporary happiness.
Armed with this knowledge, I set about to find a deeper happiness, one that is not swayed by the turning of events, or eroded by the passage of time. A happiness that comes from deep within oneself, and remains steady through various circumstances. In this journey, I have encountered an unexpected enemy.
Guilt. How can I be truly happy, when there is so much suffering in the world? Even in my own town, and in my own family? What kind of monster would I be to slap a silly smile on my face in the midst of horrid atrocities? Famine, disease, war, rape, murder, oppression, genocide: and I am…happy? And as I write this post, I realize, I am not searching for happiness, though that is what I call it. I am searching for an anchor, for steadfastness, for stability, and for peace.
So, there is no more need for guilt, because I am not laughing in the face of suffering, I am looking for a way to stand strong in diversity.